Organizations, families, churches, individuals, they all have one thing in common. They need purpose. Without purpose and clear mission, organizations tend to drift untethered, never really progressing in any direction despite what seems like and a remarkable amount of work.
"OK Chris, I get that is true for businesses, but families? Come on, Chris. Families are just families."
No, I'd say that families need purpose just as much or more than other organizations or institutions.
Families are where we hand on our culture. They are where we hand on our faith. They are where we form the next generation. Without a clear purpose, all of that can be lost or mishandled.
There is one question that every member of the family should be able to answer it is, "why."
Why do we do the things we do?
Why don't we do what they do?
Why is this so important?
And on and on and on.
If your family has a clear purpose or mission, then all those "whys" have answers.
So, what is the mission of your Catholic family? Have you ever really thought about it? You might say, "Our mission is to raise healthy kids." I am going to challenge that. I think that is probably a task that flows from your mission, but it can't be the mission. Why not? Because your kids will not always be kids. If the purpose is raising kids, then what happens after they are grown? And, if your mission is just about raising kids, then how do you invite your kids into that mission?
When "raising kids" is the mission, families quickly become unbalanced. Kid's activities, and school, and stuff, take over. Mom and Dad get frazzled. The kids get overscheduled. Rather than the family being a place of deep connection, it can become a place of frantic dislocation. No, the mission of your family must be more significant than just "raising healthy kids."
So, what is the mission of your family? As a Catholic family, we can look to the Church for some guidance. The Church tells us that the family is the primary cell of the Church. What does that mean? It means that just as our physical body is composed up of many cells, so is the body of Christ, the Church. Your family, my family, all of our families are called to the same mission. What is that mission? Well, right before Jesus ascends to heaven, he tells the Apostles, "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations..." Why does the Church exist? To make disciples, followers of Jesus Christ.
What if that was the mission of your family? How would that help you answer the "Why" questions?
"Why don't we/do we do ________ "
"Well, because it is/isn't in-line with what we are about. We are called to share the good news of Jesus with all people."
Informed by our purpose, raising kids becomes part of that mission. Our primary role as parents is not getting our kids to everything, or into the best colleges, or the best jobs. No, our central purpose is to raise faithful disciples of Jesus Christ, who will live out the mission making disciples of Jesus Christ.
That changes what we celebrate. It changes our priorities.
I need to stop for a minute and reflect on that because it is personally, very convicting.
Do I celebrate that my child is in love with Jesus as much as I would celebrate a straight-A report card? Do I celebrate my son going out of his way to go to confession, as much as if I would if saw him studying late into the evening?
Am I celebrating the victories that are integral to our mission? If not, there is a contradiction that needs to be dealt with. Like I said, that one is one I need to reflect on a little. Do our priorities reflect our purpose, or have we lost track of what the mission is? Knowing our purpose shows us where the contradictions lie in our parenting.
But, here is the deal. The way your family lives out its call is probably going to be different than the way my family lives out its mission.
God may be calling your family to radical poverty.
He may be calling you to social activism.
Maybe he is calling you to regular intercessory prayer.
Your family may be called to radical hospitality.
Or, you may be called to live out the mission in a different way.
Like there is room for a St. Thomas Aquinas and a St. Francis of Assisi, there is room in God’s kingdom for your family to live out its mission differently than mine, or different than whatever Catholic "influencer's" voice seems the loudest.
Knowing what the mission is, is a game-changer. It is the difference between "because I said so" and "because we have been called to something great." If you want to hand on your faith to your kids, make sure you know and live out the mission God has called your family too. Make sure your kids know it and invite them to be a part of it.
Please give them the incredible gift of living for something bigger than themselves.
I want to get into discerning how God's call for your family, but this post has gotten a bit long, so I will take another run at it in a future post.
How are you living out God's purpose?
How is your family living in mission?